Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Why I do....


I am creative.  I am by no means the most creative person in the world. In fact, often after I spend only a few moments on Pintrest and am quickly humbled at the amazing ideas that float out there in the creative space of this universe.

I was thinking yesterday, Why do I do this?  Is it because I am a collector?  Am I an artist? Am I creative?  Then the questions that always finds a way into my thinking...  AM I an artist? Am I good enough?  WHY do I torture myself? WHY do I think I even have a chance at being an artist?  WHY do you do this Erika?  

Last night my husband and son went to play racquetball and I sat at my table cutting paper, embossing card front, creating a card to send to a friend in a heated battle with cancer, and I realized why I do...

I do because my art no matter if someone sees it, as campy or amazing is a part of me I can share with a big ugly dark world.  I have a little light (it's really a rainbow of my collections)  that I can cast onto the life of another.  I may not be and "artist" I am okay with that.  I know that my "crafting"  is a part of WHO I am not just something I do.  

I had a downline over yesterday, we worked very hard prepping for her upcoming workshop.  She is new to the business.  She works hard!  I am excited for her.  We spent a good 5 hours designing and practicing for her workshop.  I love sharing with my team.  I love seeing them come up with different takes on techniques, to see them discover something that excites them.   That is WHY I DO... I do because in my deepest places, I have a heart for art. I want to share it with the world

I get scared sometimes, I don't think I am good enough. I really struggle with that lie.   I put myself out there a lot.  I have overheard both good and bad.  I have felt my heart break when someone tosses my little part of me in the trash can. I have felt my heart overflow with warmth when I walk into someones home and see a bit of me still watching over them. I love the idea of one day making my art my sole financial source, and know that that only will happen if I keep myself working hard to better myself.  I am a fighter.  I believe I can do that.  I work very hard in many aspects of my life, wife, mom, bookkeeper, artist, friend whatever it takes to be the best me.  So while some don't see what I do as "artistic"  I choose to see myself as what I pray I CAN be.   I want to encourage you today. You are good enough, you are a blessing in my life, you are what you work hard to be.  You don't have to be the best in the world, just be the best you can be!