Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Why I do....

WHY I DO...
IS TO SHARE WITH YOU
EVER SMALL AS IT MAY BE
A GLIMPSE OF ME. 


I am creative.  I am by no means the most creative person in the world. In fact, often after I spend only a few moments on Pintrest and am quickly humbled at the amazing ideas that float out there in the creative space of this universe.

I was thinking yesterday, Why do I do this?  Is it because I am a collector?  Am I an artist? Am I creative?  Then the questions that always finds a way into my thinking...  AM I an artist? Am I good enough?  WHY do I torture myself? WHY do I think I even have a chance at being an artist?  WHY do you do this Erika?  

Last night my husband and son went to play racquetball and I sat at my table cutting paper, embossing card front, creating a card to send to a friend in a heated battle with cancer, and I realized why I do...

I do because my art no matter if someone sees it, as campy or amazing is a part of me I can share with a big ugly dark world.  I have a little light (it's really a rainbow of my collections)  that I can cast onto the life of another.  I may not be and "artist" I am okay with that.  I know that my "crafting"  is a part of WHO I am not just something I do.  

I had a downline over yesterday, we worked very hard prepping for her upcoming workshop.  She is new to the business.  She works hard!  I am excited for her.  We spent a good 5 hours designing and practicing for her workshop.  I love sharing with my team.  I love seeing them come up with different takes on techniques, to see them discover something that excites them.   That is WHY I DO... I do because in my deepest places, I have a heart for art. I want to share it with the world

I get scared sometimes, I don't think I am good enough. I really struggle with that lie.   I put myself out there a lot.  I have overheard both good and bad.  I have felt my heart break when someone tosses my little part of me in the trash can. I have felt my heart overflow with warmth when I walk into someones home and see a bit of me still watching over them. I love the idea of one day making my art my sole financial source, and know that that only will happen if I keep myself working hard to better myself.  I am a fighter.  I believe I can do that.  I work very hard in many aspects of my life, wife, mom, bookkeeper, artist, friend whatever it takes to be the best me.  So while some don't see what I do as "artistic"  I choose to see myself as what I pray I CAN be.   I want to encourage you today. You are good enough, you are a blessing in my life, you are what you work hard to be.  You don't have to be the best in the world, just be the best you can be!  

Blessings
Erika